Return (Liberating the Pain of "Last Time")
It can be easy to become seduced with the idea of “new”. New year, new job, new beginning, new clothes, new lover, the list goes on in all directions. There is a lot of hype that lives here because we haven’t been taught how to bring things back to life. We become so enamored with the idea of “something new” because it feels relieving to know there are “no strings attached” and nothing tainting our perception or experience of that which feels “new.” This way, we remove ourselves from being wrong, messy, emotional, and human because we have this something “new” that feels so shiny and great.
But can we be shameless, patient, integral, & powerful while we work with what we have? While we return to the parts inside of ourselves that have not received their proper place.
Can we slow down enough to dust off the dirt and dive down deep to see what we need to do?
Can we be as dedicated to the aches and pains as we are to the shimmer and shine?
We have lost touch with the beauty of selecting something and tending to it and loving it through all phases of life—no matter how shiny or how dull it appears or becomes.
Sometimes we don’t always need the new.
Sometimes we need to return to what once was.
Return to what needed to be picked up again.
Return to what was broken and cultivate the patience and perseverance to be with it.
Return to the pieces that we have pushed away.
Return to the places that make us quiver and feel afraid.
Return to the sparks that make us feel alive to embed them into our being.
Going back to the “old” does not always have to be done with dread. With fear and judgement of “repeating the past”. Returning to people, places, experiences, memories, and feelings can all be seen as a process of refinement. We are the light that comes in to play to fine tune our life experience. We are the liberators of “last time.” We are the presence that comes to pour more truth into our fears.
When we return, to something—whether a place, relationship, creativity, job, exercise, our health, a dream etc.-- we choose what to elevate, emulate, and bring to life. Like adding color to a black and white photograph. We choose how to respond and how to see. We get the privilege of dropping down deep into our subconscious minds, and extracting the essence we desire.
We can allow ourselves to be an evolved version of who we are, being born anew.
Before we can have anything “new”, we have to collect it. “New” is a collection of different stories, experiences, ideas, desires and dreams that could not have existed until now. It is a refinement of all past versions, all forgotten parts, all recycled matter. It is the final, end stage of all prior presumptions. And every step along the way has been meaningful, monumental and magical in the making.
Returning is the new, NEW.