Grab a pen & paper. It’s about to get real.
All by giving yourself the freedom to feel.
This is an outline to help you move through your emotional experiences. This is here to help you see that on the other side of intense emotional pain, there is freedom. That our feelings matter, need our attention, and that we are capable of facing them and freeing ourselves from them.
1. This is how I am feeling.
(Get real, as intense as it is, draw it out. What is currently aching in your reality? What keeps cycling through you that hurts and brews confusion, fear, or heartache?)
Example: “I feel scared because I don’t know what to do. I am not sure what to do next and if I should stay here or move, and I am afraid of making the wrong choice.”
2. Go deeper.
(When you sit with that feeling, what are the extra layers that come with it? What keeps spiraling around, what else do you notice? It's ok to be frantic.)
Example: “I am afraid of making the wrong choice because I am so afraid of failing or things getting worse. I feel like there’s so much I feel have messed up. So much shame I have hidden in and don’t know how to handle this so any choice feels paralyzing and wrong.”
3. All the way…to the Root
(Deep down there is a part of you that wants to be acknowledged. Practice being there with it.)
I am safe. It is safe for me to feel this deeply. It is safe for me to feel this raw, this exposed, this vulnerable, this alone, this afraid. I am safe to have this experience. I will come out on the other side of this pain. Even if I don't know what to do with this emotion or experience, I trust that by showing up in this way I create the space for me to love myself and lead me with more grace and compassion.
Example: "Deep down I am afraid that I am wrong. That I can't face life or live freely because I can't get this right, because I am so wrong and flawed. I feel paralyzed in this shame."
4. Pull the thorn out & nurture the wounded space.
Thorns are common core wounds such as shame, guilt, regret, failure, inadequacy, loneliness, neglect, betrayal, abandonment, abuse, worthlessness, grief, heartache, by now I’m sure you have felt something strike.
Face & Feel. Repeat to yourself: "I see you pain. I see how badly this hurts, how damaging this is, how completely perplexed you are by this painful presence. I know, I know. We don't always know why this is here or know how to make this go away, but I can try my best to be with you. You are so brave."
Pull out the thorn. Place your hands on your body where it hurts. Imagine seeing this pain inside of you and gently extracting it with your hands.
Replace. Replace your hands on your body in an area that feels tender. Hold. Hold the space in all of its wounded glory. Feel the fragility that forms with fresh skin.
Nurture this space by assuring it that it can become alive again. That something new can be born.
Affirm: "Even if I can't see what belongs here I promise to be here with you in this raw, vulnerable state."
5. Seal & Feel.
Offer yourself love, gratitude, and compassion for your bravery in moving through this exercise. Feel the beauty of pouring presence over the areas that ache inside of us. Even if we don't see the linear solution to our problem, trust that by moving through the (e)motions that freeze us, we connect deeper to the heart that knows how to guide us.
Example: "Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for slowing down to be with me. Thank you for trying this weird woo woo worksheet. Thank you for feeling me."